Probably the last post

Dear Friends and family,

After over a year of craziness, I believe this will be my last wedding post. Mostly because I am leaving for Puerto Rico on Wednesday morning, and will have limited access to email. I hope that two weeks from today we will all be slightly hung over enjoying breakfast before we go our separate ways for a little bit.

A few things I wanted to say to those of you traveling to Puerto Rico for the first time:

• Puerto Rico is a mix of Latin America and US in every way. It is caught up between two cultures and it can be confusing. San Juan is very Americanized, but the further you get from the capital the deeper you sink into Latin America. Be prepared for unexpected things. If you go in expecting something specific you may be disappointed.
• Most of you are well traveled people. I don't have to tell you to be vigilant in a foreign place. Puerto Rico has a history of car-jackings, so keep your car doors locked. Because of this fact the law in Puerto Rico says that after midnight you do not have to sit and wait at a red light. You can treat a red light as you would a yellow light. No joke, it is the law.
• That being said, Puerto Ricans are not known for obeying the traffic laws so you should always proceed with caution. On the subject of crime I will say I am 35 years old and have never been a victim of witnessed a crime and I grew up in Puerto Rico, and lived in San Juan alone for one year. I would never leave my doors unlocked, or my things unattended at a beach though- because I have heard stories.
• Another law in Puerto Rico is that you must wear your seat belt when the car is running at all times, even in the back seat. You also are not supposed to talk on your cell phone when you are gassing up the car.
• On the subject of gas: most places will require you to pay before you pump. (again-crime). Prices on the signs are in liters and not gallons, so it will be significantly cheaper than what you are used to.
  
• Basic travel courtesy: before you start yapping in English to someone you might want to ask if they speak English. If you are nice about it, service personnel will go out of the way to help you. My educated guess is that in San Juan 85% of the people speak English. Around the island it may be more like like 60%. Most businesses have at least one person who speaks English-more than likely with a touch of a New York accent.
• Last but certainly not least, Caribbean time. People are a bit slow, late, laid back. Don't expect the American way of we want to serve you right away and get out so we can seat the next customer. They take their time, so can you. No rush, think Europe. Of course Michael and I will expect you to be punctual to everything we plan with you because we are bit crazy like that.

The numbers. I will be in Puerto Rico on 6/3/9. My cell is 706-614-5606. Michael will get there on 6/9/9 his cell is 404-372-2021. I will be staying with my parents their home number is 787-851-6168. You need anything, and I mean anything you call me. Maybe you are lost and need directions. Maybe you are not sure what you are ordering at a restaurant. Maybe you need a translator in a pinch. Call me. Anytime. Seriously.

We love you all so mucha nd are very excited about you coming to PR. Don't be scared. The horror stories are about lowering expectations. = )

Lisa & Mike

A Gringo's Guide to Driving in Puerto Rico by Michael Davis

The following was written by Michael after driving in PR for one week last summer. Lisa's defensive commentary appears in red.

Gringo’s Guide to Driving in Puerto Rico

1. Most important for driving in Puerto Rico is to remember that great piece of advice from the Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: “Don’t Panic!”
2. The island is 100 by 35 miles. You can’t really get lost. Unless you stumble into a San Juan ghetto. In which case we’ll light a candle and remember you on your birthday.
3. Police always have their flashing lights on; they’ll sound their siren to pull you over. (I believe the point of this is to prevent accidents, rather than catch people in the act)
   
4. “Slower traffic keep right” apparently does not translate into Puerto Rican Spanish.
5. When encountering the toll booths on highway 52 from San Juan to Ponce, take the lane marked “C” if you need change. (Duh!)
   
6. Drive both more aggressively and more defensively.
7. There is no center turning lane on small roads. (yeah, no such thing)
   
8. Many roads appear to be single lane roads by US standards: narrow and without a center paint line. They aren’t. You’ll know when you meet a big truck on a curve. Unfortunately, most roads are narrow and curvy.
9. But the roads are generally well marked
10. Cursing helps, if only to join in the spirit of things. I like “coño!” (also see "huevon")
    
11. Parking in the street to talk to friends on the sidewalk and thereby blocking one lane of traffic is ok. Just leave one lane open so that traffic can trickle through.
12. Stop signs look like stop signs but they say “PARE”, but stopping at them is really only a suggestion.
13. There are no 4 way stops in Puerto Rico. Apparently the concept was too confusing. (OK, soe of us recognize our limitations. If we know #12 to be true, then # 13 just serves to prevent accidents-think about it)
    
14. If you pass a car accident, you MUST slow down to almost a complete stop and gawk for several moments. Only in this way, will you turn a minor fender bender into an accident that backs up traffic for a mile and a half.
15. Many streets in the small towns are one way. They are marked with a sign with an arrow and the word “TRANSITO” and point in the direction that traffic should go….usually.
16. The entrance to one way streets are marked with a “NO ENTRE” sign (DO NOT ENTER)….usually. Sometimes the sign is too faded to read. Sometimes it isn’t there, and all that is left is the iron pole that it used to stand on. Sometimes you can tell because all the cars on the street are parked in the same direction. Sometimes you can tell because you take a street and are suddenly met by many angry drivers coming from the other direction. See #10 above. (This is so true, I'm still laughing about the observation...)
    
17. Speed limit is posted in miles per hour as in “Velocidad maxima 55.” Distances are posted in kilometers. “San Juan 38” means 38 kilometers to San Juan. (This is one of those things that results from the confusion of being colonized by Europeans, and then by Americans.)
    
18. There’s quite a bit of construction on the main highways in Puerto Rico, which is frequently accompanied by a sign called a “DESVIO.” This translates directly into “detour,” or more loosely into “let’s see how many high speed accidents we can cause.” These come on Highway 2 after Ponce. After you’ve been driving on the main highways for a while and you think you’ve got the hang of things, you’ll suddenly see a “DESVIO.” At this point the highway will veer sharply to right, and the lines in the road become meaningless because you are suddenly straddling what used to be the line dividing traffic. All this is done to avoid the concrete walls that have suddenly sprung up on either side of the highway and have squeezed two lanes of traffic down to a space that will fit in a Kroger aisle. Just when you think you have coped with this change, the highway veers back to the left and back onto its original course. (Yeah, think about the German Autobahn, and then picture the opposite)
    
19. Music is an important part of life on the island. But apparently there is a regulation stating that if you are going to listen to music in the car at night, you must make at least one pass through an urbanizacion (subdivision) playing reggaeton as loud as is possible. Salsa or Spanish rock just won’t do. And the louder and later, the better. (We are loud, get used to it)
20. Puerto Ricans seem to like speed bumps. They call them “muertos” or dead men. Get used to it. (again, prevention people!)
    
21. Take comfort in the fact that no matter how bad a driver you are, you’ll fit in in Puerto Rico. And if you can navigate through the Seventh Circle of Hell, commonly called driving in New Jersey, then you are more than qualified to drive in Puerto Rico. (Sorry Nisha!)
    

One month to go!

Hey people!

One month to go... I hope you guys are excited about going to Puerto Rico, because I sure am! I will be there three weeks from today and all I can think about is my sweet Playa Buye! For those of you flying in early enough to participate in the bachelor/rette parties, please know that we will have outings planned for that Friday before the wedding. You are welcome to come with us, or do your own thing. We will try and go to Buye around lunch time on Friday just to show you guys my favorite beach, and give you all some local color. We will also go out to dinner on Friday and you guys are welcome to come along as well. We will have more details on that later on.

You will have Saturday to do as you please, remembering that the ceremony is 20 minutes away from the hotel on Saturday, and the ceremony is at 6 pm. We are working on providing transportation for you to and from the ceremony, to keep it simple and prevent people from getting lost (and being late).

Please let me know if you have any logistical questions, no question is too simple. I LOVE to talk about Puerto Rico so if you just want some pointers on places to see or go, feel free to email me here or call me at 706-614-5606.

Lisa & Mike